Too Much Exposition

Lockstock
Well, hello there. And welcome - to Urinetown! Not the place, of course. The musical. Urinetown 'the place' is ... well, it's a place you'll hear people referring to a lot through the show.

Penny
You hear the news? They carted Old 'So and So' off to Urinetown the other day.

Bobby
Is that so? What he do?

Penny
Oh, such and such, I hear.

Bobby
Well, what do you know. Old 'So and So'.

Lockstock
It's kind of a mythical place, you understand. A bad place. A place you won't see until Act Two. And then...? Well, let's just say it 's filled with symbolism and things like that. But Urinetown 'the musical', well, here we are. Welcome. It takes place in a town like any town...that you might find in a musical. This here's the first setting for the show. As
the sign says, it's a 'public amenity', meaning public toilet. These people have been waiting for hours to get in. It's the only amenity they can afford to get into.

Little Sally
Say, Officer Lockstock, is this where you tell the audience about the water shortage?

Lockstock
What's that, Little Sally?

Little Sally
You know, the water shortage. The hard times. The drought. A shortage so awful that private toilets eventually become unthinkable. A premise so bsurd that -

Lockstock
Whoa, there, Little Sally. Not all at once. They'll hear more about the water shortage in the next scène.

Little Sally
Oh, I guess you don't want to overload them with too much exposition, huh.

Lockstock
Everything in its time, Little Sally. You're too young to understand it now, but nothing can kill a show like too much exposition.

Little Sally
How about bad subject matter?

Lockstock
Well -

Little Sally
Or a bad title, even? That could kill a show pretty good.

Lockstock
Well, Little Sally, suffice it to say that in Urinetown (the musical) everyone has to use public bathrooms in order to take care of their private business. That's the central conceit of the show!

Better hope your pennies

Add up to the fee -
We can't have you peeing
For free
If you do, we'll catch you
We, we never fail!
And we never bother with jail

All
You'll get Urinetown!
Off you'll go to Urinetown!
Away with you to Urinetown!

Lockstock
You won't need bail

Later on you'll learn that these 'public bathrooms' are controlled by a private company. They keep admission hight, generally, so if you're down on your luck you have to come to a place like this - one of the poorest, filthiest urinals in town.

Little Sally
And you can't just go in the bushes either, there's laws against it.

Lockstock
That's right, Little Sally. Harsh laws, too. That's why Little Sally here's counting her pennies. Isn't that so, Little Sally?

Little Sally
I'm very close, Officer. Only a few pennies away.

Lockstock
Aren't we all, Little Sally. Aren't we all.

/(to audience)/
Well, we've talked on long enough, I imagine. Enjoy the show. And welcome - to Urinetown (the musical)!

Urinetown

All
This is Urinetown!
One restroom here at Urinetown!
It's unisex at Urinetown!
All by design

Lockstock, McQueen, Fipp, Barrell
It's the oldest story -
Masses are oppressed
Faces, clothes and bladders
All distressed
Rich folks get the good life
Poor folks get the woe
In the end
It's nothing you don't know

All
You're at Urinetown!
Your ticket should say Urinetown!
No refunds, this is Urinetown!
We'll keep that dough!

Sopranos People can't Pee free! People can't Pee free! People can't Pee free! They can't Pee free In Urinetown! Urinetown! Urinetown!

Altos This is Urinetown! Here we are In Urinetown! This is Urinetown! Here we are In Urinetown! Yes, This is Urinetown! Urinetown! Urinetown!

Tenors This is Urinetown! Here we are In Urinetown! This, this Is Urinetown! Here we are In Urinetown! Yes, here we Are in Urinetown! Urinetown! Yes, This is Urinetown! Yes, This is Urinetown!

Basses It's the Oldest story It's the Oldest story It's the Oldest story With masses Oppressed Masses Masses Oppressed In Urinetown!

It's A Privilege To Pee

Old Man Strong
Bobby! Bobby, reason with the woman. I'm a little short this morning.

Bobby
He's my Pa, Ms. Pennywise. Can't he come in for free? Just this once?

Penny
Get your head out of the clouds, Bobby Strong. No one gets in for free.
Every morning you all come here. And every morning some of you got
reasons why ya ain't gonna pay. And I'm here to tell ya ya is gonna pay!

Old Man Strong
In the name of God, Penny, what difference could it make?

Penny
What difference?!

'Times are hard'
'Our cash is tight'
'You've got no right'
I've heard it all before
'Just this once'
Is once too much
Cause once they've onced
They'll want to once once more

I run the only toilet
In this part of town, you see
So, if you've got to go
You've got to go through me

It's a privilege to pee
Water's worth its weight
In gold these days

No more bathrooms
Like in olden days
You come here and pay a fee
For the privilege to pee

Twenty years we've had the drought
And our reservoirs have all dried up
I take my baths now in a coffee cup
I boil what's left of it for tea
And it's a privilege to pee

The politicians in their wisdom saw
That there should be a law
The politicians taxed the toilets
And made illegal
Public urination and defecation

So, come and give your coins to me
Write your name here in the record book
The authorities will want to look
If you've been regular with me
If you've paid the proper fee
For the privilege to pee

Bobby
But Ms. Pennywise -

Penny
I said no buts, Bobby. You're a sweet lookin' boy and I likes to keep
you around, but this man ain't comin' in without payin'. Not this time.

Old Man Strong
I can't wait much longer, Bobby. There's no tellin' what I might do!

Penny
You think you've got
Some kind of right?

The Poor
Kind of right, kind of right!

Penny
You think you'll come in here and go for free?

The Poor
Snag a freebie!

Penny
The only thing you'll get it 'no' for free!

The Poor
Negatory!

Penny
I'm a business gal, you see

The Poor
Business gal you see!

Penny I sell the Privilege to pee!

The Poor It's a privilege to pee

Penny
The good Lord made us
So we'd piss each day
Until we piss away
The good Lord made sure
That what goes in men
Must soon come out again
So you're no different then
From lowly me

The Poor
Me
Lowly me
Lowly me
Lowly me
Lowly me!

Bobby
But, Ms. Pennywise -

Old Man Strong
That's enough, Bobby.

Penny
And I think I'll charge you twice

Old Man Strong
No need to jeopardize your position.

Penny
Or better yet, have you arrested

Old Man Strong
I'm through with all this, you see.

Penny
Since you prefer the law gets tested

Old Man Strong
Scrapin' cash three times a day

Penny
And in Urinetown you'll see

Old Man Strong
Crazy with the nitrates half the time

Penny
Why it's dumb to fight with me

Old Man Strong
It's no way to live, I tells ya. No way to live.

Penny For the privilege to pee!

The Poor Wah! Wah! Wah!

Mr. Cladwell

Cladwell
I saw gray skies, foreboding and cold!
I saw gray skies and made them rain gold!
Now those skies aren't so bleak to behold!
They're still gray
But they pay
For your sal'ries tenfold!

I took this town that formerly stank
I took this town and made it smell swank!
I made flushing mean flush at the bank!
I'm the man
With the plan
And so who should you thank?

McQueen
Whom?

Chorus
Mister Cladwell
We're so thankful
For that bank full of dough!
You're a toreador
And it's cash that you gore!
Could we hope for much more?
We really doubt it!

Cladwell
You may be right there!

Chorus
Mister Cladwell
You've got riches
Which is just what we need!

We say
Hail to you, the Duke of the ducats!

Cladwell
I can bring in bucks by the buckets!

Chorus
You're the master
You're making money!

Cladwell
Faster still than bees making honey!

Chorus
You're Mister Cladwell!

Hope
Gosh Daddy, I never realized large, monopolizing corporations could be
such a force for good in the world.

Cladwell
Few do.

McQueen
All those coins

That we take from the throng
End up here
Where those coins all belong
Lots of coins
Make our company strong!

Cladwell
Charging fees
As we please
Is our right - it's not wrong!

McQueen
We're not greedy as some make us seem
We need funds for our big research team

Dr. Billeaux
Men in labcoats and test tubes with steam!

Cladwell and McQueen
What it shows
No one knows
But, hey, still we can dream!

McQueen
Of!

Chorus Mister Cladwell Finding answers Curing cancers Of doubt! Your ambitions are high But you're Humble as pie! What a wonderful guy! We simply love you!

Hope Da- Da, Da Da, Da, Daddy That's my Dad! Daddy Daddy That's my Daddy And I simply Love you!

Cladwell
You're making me blush now!

Chorus
Mister Cladwell
You're so godly!
Oddly perfect and right!

Men
You are continental, yet
Unpretentious!

Women
Fancy-free, yet so conscientious!

Men
Wise but trendy, tough as a mountain!

Chorus
Goodness flows from you like a fountain!
You're mister, you're Mister -

Cladwell
Cladwell!

Chorus
Cladwell!

Cop Song

Lockstock
If there's one thing I've learned in my many years of enforcing the laws
of this city, it's that the journey down to Urinetown offers no surprises. Not even from the very toughest amongst us. On that journey expect only the expected.

It's a hard, cold, tumble of a journey
Worthy of a gurney, a bumble down
A slapped face, smacked with a mace
Certain to debase is our stumble down

It's a path that leads you only one place
Horrible to retrace, a crumble down
A hard, cold, tumble of a tourney
Jumble of a journey to Urinetown

Lockstock and Barrel
Julie Cassidy
Went to a field behind a tree
Saw there was no one who could see

Lockstock
Her pee -

Barrel
- but me!

Lockstock and Barrel
And Jacob Rosenblum
Thought he was safe up in his room
Didn't know the jars he kept up there
Would obligate a trip to Urine-tomb!

Lockstock
There are those who think our
Methods vicious -

Barrel
Overly malicious -

Lockstock
A bunch of brutes, but it's we who
Gather for the people -

Barrel
Tavern to the steeple -

Lockstock
Lawful fruits!
Our task: bring a little order -

Barrel
Swindle out a hoarder -

Lockstock
From what he loots, as the book says
'Certainly a season' -

Barrel
Trample out a treason -

All
With hobnail boots!
Roger Roosevelt
Kept a cup below his belt
Cup ran over when he knelt

Lockstock
He smelt -

Barrel
We dealt!

All
And Joseph 'Old Man' Strong
Held his pee for much too long
Hoped his son might bail him out
His guess was good but also wrong!

Lockstock
Years past all lived in a jungle
Scooping out a bungle, nature's bowl
Life of constant deprivation
Certain aggravation took its toll

Soon learned power of the truncheon
Organize a function king to pawn
So if peace is what you're after
Urinetown's the rafter to hang it on!

Girl Cop 1
Julie Cassidy -

Boy Cop 1
Jacob Rosenbloom -

Boy Cop 2
Roger Roosevelt -

Boy Cop 1
Jacob Rosenbloom -

Girl Cop 1
Julie Cassidy -

Boy Cop 3
Joseph Old Man Strong -

Lockstock and Barrel
Don't be like them! Don't be like them!

Lockstock It's a hard, cold, Tumble of a journey Worthy of a gurney, A bumble down A slapped face, Smacked with a mace Certain to debase Is our stumble down

Female Cops It's a hard, cold, Tumble of a journey Worthy of a gurney, A bumble down A slapped face, Smacked with a mace Certain to debase

Male Cops It's a hard, cold, Tumble of a journey Worthy of a gurney, A bumble down A slapped face, Smacked with a mace

All
It's a path that leads you only one place
Horrible to retrace, a crumble down
A hard, cold, tumble of a tourney
Jumble of a journey to Urinetown!

Follow Your Heart

Bobby
Did you mean what you said? About everyone having a heart?

Hope
Well, sure I did. Do you think you'd be feeling as bad as you do if you
didn't have a heart?

Bobby
I don't know. I suppose not.

Hope
Of course you wouldn't. Because then you'd be dead.

When darkness surrounds you
And you lose your way
You have your own compass
That turns night to day
And it's even with you
Before you depart
Be still, hear it beating
It's leading you
Follow your heart

Bobby
Follow my heart? But to where?

Hope
To wherever your heart tells you to go.

Bobby
Even...there?

Hope
Even to the clouds, if that's what your heart commands. What's it saying
now?

Bobby
I don't know. I don't know how to listen to my heart.

Hope
You have to listen carefully. Here, let me try.

Bobby
Do you -

Hope
Ssshhh! Ah, there it is. It's saying:

We all want a world
Filled with peace and joy
With plenty of water
For each girl and boy
That bright, shining world
Is just waiting to start
No meanness or sorrow
Just cleanness tomorrow
If only you follow your heart

You see there, Bobby. Even your heart knows you should follow your heart.

Bobby
'Peace and joy', 'plenty of water'
I guess I do want those things

Hope
There's something else your heart was saying. Maybe something I
shouldn't have heard.

Bobby
There was?

Hope
I think so. It was barely audible but I definitely heard something.

Bobby
Well? What was it?

Hope
Let me try again, maybe I can make it out this time.

There is is. So faint...it's saying:

Follow, into the open air
Far from squalor and noise
Follow, someone is waiting there
Someone who shares all your hopes
And your joys

'Someone is waiting there'? Why, my heart was saying those exact words
just the other day.

Bobby
It was?

Hope
Sure it was. 'Squalor and Noise', 'Hopes and Joys'. It was telling me
about all those things.

Bobby
I didn't know two hearts could speak as one.

Hope
I didn't either. Until now. Here, listen.

Bobby
Someday I'll meet someone
Whose heart joins with mine
Aortas and arteries all intertwined
They'll beat so much stronger
Than they could apart
Eight chambers of muscle to hustle
The love in our heart

Bobby and Hope
Love is kind and considerate
Love is peaceful and fair
Love can creep up so suddenly
When you least think of it
Your love is there

We all want a world
Filled with peace and with joy
With plenty of justice
For each girl and boy
That bright shining world
Is just waiting to start
No anger or badness
Just laughter and gladness
If only I follow your heart

Look At The Sky

Penny
You've got a sweet lookin' head, Bobby, a sweet lookin' head! But you
keep it up there in the clouds day after day after day and it's gotta
come down from there. You hear me?! Get that head out of the clouds, Bobby Strong! You get it out of the clouds!

Bobby
Off in the distance
There's a beautiful horizon -
Gleaming and radiant
It's what I'll keep my eyes on -
As the world turns to face the sun
And start another day
It suddenly
Occurs to me
That maybe we can find another way
Look at the sky
Full of hope and promise
It's a shining ideal
How I reel
When I look at the sky

Daily we make them pay
Their nickles dimes and quarters -
Daily we break them
'Cause we have to follow orders
And we keep filling moneybags
With broken lives and dreams
But what's it for?
I can't ignore
These black immoral
Profit-making schemes

Look at the sky
High above this madness!
Here below feel our shame!
It must stop in the name
Of the sky!

Penny
The fee is the law, Bobby Strong.

Bobby
And what if there was a new law in town, Ms. Pennywise? A new law that didn't come from any voting process or elected body or process of judicial review, but a brand new law that came from an organ. That's right, a muscular, blood-pumping organ. Like this one. Right here.

Penny
A muscular organ?

Bobby
Can't you see it, Ms. Pennywise? Well, if this one's too small for you
why not try this one on for size?!

Penny
It's...it's blinding me!

Bobby
Look at the sky!
There's a great big heart there!
There's a heart
In the sky
There just is
Don't ask why -
It's the sky!

Penny
Don't do this, Bobby. You'll regret it.

Bobby
I don't think so. C'mon, Ma. This one's on the house. For everyone!
Forever!

The Poor
Hooray!

Soupy Sue
Your heart knows all things
Great and true

Tiny Tom
The things mere brains can never know

Josephine
Your heart point to
The great big blue -

The Poor
Where the people's allegiance must go!

Bobby
Tell me where!

The Poor
Look at the sky!
That's our inspiration!

Bobby
Look at the sky!
Look at the sky!

The Poor
We can win
If we try
We begin
When we look at the sky!

Penny
Oh Bobby, what's to become of you?

What's to become of us all?!

The Poor Look at the sky! Standard of the people!

Bobby Off in the distance There's a beautiful horizon

The Poor
It's a banner so wide
Flying proudly with pride
In the sky

Bobby
In the sky

The Poor
In the sky!

Don't Be The Bunny

Cladwell
A little bunny in the meadow
Is nibbling grass without a care
He's so delightful as he hops for you
You say, 'Hi, bunny'
And he stops for you
You pull your trigger
And he drops for you
Goodbye, bunny-boo
Hello, rabbit stew!

Get me, boys?

Staff
You tell 'em, boss!

Cladwell
Don't be the bunny
Don't be the stew
Don't be the dinner
You have better things to do
It ain't a joke
That's why it's funny
So take your cue
Don't be the bunny
Don't be the bunny

Hope
But Daddy, we're talking about people, not animals.

Cladwell
People are animals, Hope dear.

Hope
Animals with huge incisors and big floppy feet?

Cladwell
Look closely, you'll see them. I do. I see them...everywhere.

A little bunny at a toll booth
He needs a measly fifty cents
Our little bunny didn't plan ahead
Poor bunny simply hasn't got the bread
He begs for mercy, but gets jail instead
Hasenpfeffer's in the air
As the bunny gets the chair!

See the moral, people?

Staff
Clear as day, boss!

Cladwell
Don't be the bunny
Don't be the dope
Don't be the loser
You're much better than that, Hope!
You're born to pow'r
You're in the money!
Advice to you

McQueen and Fipp
In Re: The Bunny

Cladwell
Don't be the bunny

Hope
A little bunny at a tollbooth?

Cladwell
You heard me.

Hope
But Daddy, bunnies don't drive cars.

Cladwell
Oh, don't they?!

Hope
No, actually, I don't think they do.

Cladwell
Live long enough, Hope dear, you see...many things.

Hope
Even a daughter doubting her father?

Cladwell
A little bunny in a shoe box
He thinks he's found a brand new home
So snug and cozy on your closet floor
And then you open up your closet door
Now what's that bunny in my closet for?
With a mallet and some clippers
You find out: new bunny slippers!

Grasp the message, staff?

Staff
Right behind you, boss!

Cladwell and Staff
Don't be the bunny
Don't be the shoe
You don't get stepped on -

Cladwell
No, the one who steps is you!

Cladwell and Staff
You're stepping up
To where it's sunny
Step on the poor!
Don't be the bunny!
Don't be the bunny!
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!

Act One Finale

Bobby
Free!
People are free!
How can a fee
Enslave us?
See
How we can be
Free from the chains
He gave us!

We're suffering now
Such lives of sorrow
Don't give us tomorrow
Just give us today!

The Poor
Free!
People are free!
How can a fee
Enslave us?
See
How we can be
Free from the chains
He gave us!

We're suffering now
Such lives of sorrow
Don't give us tomorrow
Just give us today!

Bobby
From ev'ry hill
Ev'ry steeple
Ring out the anthem
Of the people
Making a new way
Breaking the clouds of gray
To sing of today!

Bobby and The Poor
Sing of today!
Sing of today
Sing today
Sing today
Sing today

Cladwell
A little brutality is exactly what these people need. Officer Lockstock!

Hope
Daddy, wait. He only wants the people to be happy.

Cladwell
Happy you say?! Happy?!

So you want happy, Mister Strong?
Did you say happy, Mister Strong?
If they pee today I'm sure they'll be
As happy as a pup
With no rules and no more fees to pay
Things would be looking up!
But too bad the water that we share
Could fit inside a cup!
What of tomorrow, Mister Strong?

Bobby
But what of today?!

Cladwell
But what of tomorrow, Mister Strong?!
Think of tomorrow, Mister Strong!
Our resources are as fragile
As a newborn baby's skull
With your actions
You would gut the child
And leave a lifeless hull!
Could it be you're so short-sighted
So insensitive, so dull?
Think of tomorrow, Mister Strong!

The Poor
But what of today?!

Cladwell and Co.
You are wrong, Mister Strong
You and your socialistic throng
If the people pee for free
They'll push the system to the brink
If today there's spillage
Tell us how tomorrow will not stink!

Cladwell
If it's you and me, now, Mister Strong
Which one of us will blink?
I say it's you, Mister Strong
For on the subject of tomorrow

Cladwell and Co.
You are wrong!

Hope
Oh, Bobby, why didn't you tell me you were going to start a revolution?

Bobby
Maybe for the same reason you didn't tell me you were a Cladwell. So you
can join us or you can stand aside.

Hope
Bobby, think!
You're standing on the brink!
You'll be arrested soon
Perhaps as soon as noon

And I could never bear
To see you taken where
The guilty pee-ers meet
The toilet judgement seat!

Bobby
You said
To follow your heart
Here's where my heart leads
Now I'll do my part
To banish all needs

You made me to see
Fantastic'lly clear
When people pee free
We've nothing to fear

Hope Give up now! We'll find a way Somehow To help the people pee Without a hefty fee But if you must persist Being an anarchist My father's men will see You're sent away from me! You'll get Urinetown! Bobby, you'll get Urinetown! Off you'll go to Urinetown! Urinetown! Urinetown!

Bobby Your words Were like seeds At first they Seemed mild They grew into deeds This riot's our child Sing of today, not tomorrow! End their lives of sorrow! Today! Today! Sing of today!

Cladwell
You've picked a fight you can't win, today, Mr. Strong! Your rabble is
no match for my men.

Little Sally
You can punish our bodies, Mr. Cladwell, but you can never punish our spirits!

Soupy Sue
Punish our bodies?!

Little Becky Two Shoes
I never agreed to any punishment of my body!

Cladwell
Oh, punishment is all you'll ever know!

The Poor Bobby, help! He'll turn our brains to kelp! No matter what we do We're in a real bad stew! Those cops look awful mean Like we've ever seen! When Cladwell gives the cue Our revolution's through!

Cladwell and UGC Staff You Are wrong, Mr. Strong! You Are wrong, Mr. Strong! Very Wrong, Mr. Strong! You Are wrong, Mr. Strong!

Bobby Last night your words Were like seeds At first They seemed mild They grew Into deeds This riot's Our child!

The Poor Bobby, please! There's no way to appease A raging maniac A real insaniac He's like a speeding train Caught in a hurricane But he is in control And he is on a roll!

Cladwell and UGC Staff You Are wrong, Mr. Strong! You Are wrong, Mr. Strong! Very Wrong, Mr. Strong! You Are wrong, Mr. Strong!

Bobby The child Is on fire He's hot As the sun He'll burn Like a pyre 'Til freedom Is won!

Hope Oh Bobby! No, Bobby! Oh Bobby! No, Bobby!

The Poor Cladwell's Nuts With no if's, and's Or but's! Yes, he's a real Live loon! A freaking Looney tune! And when he's Done with us He'll put us on a Bus Bound for that Unknown place That we all All dread to face!

Cladwell and UGC Staff You Are wrong Mr. Strong! You Are wrong Mr. Strong! Very Wrong Mr. Strong! You Are wrong Mr. Strong!

All but Bobby You'll/We'll get Urinetown! Bobby, you'll/we'll get Urinetown! Off you'll/we'll go to Urinetown! Urinetown! Urinetown!

Bobby Sing of today Not tomorrow! End their lives Of sorrow! Today! Today! Sing of today!

Hope
So what'll it be, Bobby?

Bobby
Looks like we're in a real bad spot, doesn't it. I suppose we should leave.

Hope
Oh, Bobby, they'll never let you leave now.

Bobby
Not without you they won't. Which is why you're coming with us.

Hope
But how can I come with you and not fight against my father, unless...unless...oh dear God, Bobby, no!

Bobby and Poor From ev'ry Hill Ev'ry steeple Ring out the anthem Of the people Making a new way Breaking the Clouds of gray To sing of today! Sing of today! Sing of today! Sing today! Sing today! Sing today!

Cladwell and Co. Wrong, Mr. Strong! Think of tomorrow Mr. Strong! Our resources as as Fragile as a Newborn baby's skull! With your Actions you would Gut the child and Leave a lifeless hull! A lifeless hull Mr. Strong! You're very dull Mr. Strong! Disperse your throng Mr. Strong! Disperse your throng And end your song And end your song Mr. Strong! You're wrong, Mr. Strong! You're wrong, Mr. Strong! You're wrong, Mr. Strong! You're wrong!

Bobby
Keep your men back, Cladwell! We've got your daughter and we're not letting her go!

Lockstock
Boss, what do we do?!

Cladwell
Seize them!

Penny
No!

Cladwell
Don't let them get away!

Hope
Help me!

Penny
Help her!

Bobby
Now run, run everybody! Run for your lives! Run!

Women Urinetown! Urinetown! Urinetown! Urinetown! Urinetown! Urinetown!

Men Urinetown! Urinetown! Urinetown! Urinetown! Urine - ! Urinetown!

Lockstock Well, that's it for Act One. As you can see, the rebel poor are making their get-away with Hope as their hostage. The rest of us have been thrown into confusion because – well, because we're all moving so damned slowly. So we don't get to catch them. Not yet. Enjoy intermission, and see you - shortly!

All
Urinetown!

What Is Urinetown?

Little Becky Two Shoes
What is Urinetown?
Urinetown's the end!
Swift and brutal punishment
No need now to pretend!

Hot Blades Harry
The trap door's sprung
And then you're hung
And when they cut you down
They'll box you up and ship you out
And call it Urinetown!

The Poor
They'll box you up and ship you out
And call it Urinetown!
Town!
Town!
Town!
Town!

Dance?
No!
Never do they dance!
Those people down in Urinetown
They never get the chance!
Dancing, forget it!
Never, nada, nope!
Unless it's at the bottom of a rope!

Lockstock
People hear lots of things about Urinetown, of course, and that's just
the way we like it. For example, a little boy once asked me, 'Is Urinetown actually a nice place to live? Gingerbread houses along golden, frothy canals? Like Venice, only different?' I didn't say yes. I didn't say no, either.

Cladwell
What is Urinetown?
Urinetown's a tool
An instrument of power
To enforce my iron rule
So send your troops
To all the stoops
And let them understand
If Hope is not returned
It's Urinetown for all the land!

The Poor
If Hope is not returned
It's Urinetown for all the land!
Land!
Land!
Land!
Land!

Cladwell
Dance?
Dance?
Do they think I'll dance?
Those people with my daughter
Want to make me change my stance
Stance-dance, forget it!
Never, nada, nein!
I'll teach them not to
Take from me what's mine!

Bobby
What is Urinetown?
Urinetown's a lie
A means to keep the poor in check
Until the day they die!
I did not shirk their dirty work
But things are different now
We'll fight for right
With all our might
Until we win somehow!

Bobby and Josephine
We'll fight for might
With all our might
Until we win somehow!
How!
How!
How!
How!

Bobby
Dance!
Dance!
Listen to it dance!
My heart is like a stallion
Racing through a great expanse
Canyons of freedom
That's where it will waltz
Performing coronary somersaults!

Little Sally
What is Urinetown?
Urinetown is here!
It's the 'town' wherever
People learn to live in fear
So look around, you've finally found
The place you asked about
For Urinetown is your town
If you're hopeless down and out!

All
For Urinetown is your town
If you're hopeless, down and out!

Lockstock
For Urinetown is your town
If you're hopeless, down and out!

All
Out!
Out!
Out!
Out!

Hey!

Snuff That Girl

Hot Blades Harry
Whaddaya think they talk about in those quorums they got up there - how good we are?! So listen up, now! Any second those cops are gonna bust in here and bust us up like a bunch of overripe canteloupes! So I say as long as our juice has gotta spill - all over this floor, here - her juice has gotta spill, to! Cladwell juice! Then we'll see who's better than who.

Look at here there
All bound up, gagged and tied
With her head full of hair
And her heart full of pride!

Well, boys, I've had enough
Of each arrogant curl!
Bing! Bang! Boom! Let's get tough
Playin' rough -
Snuff that girl!

Little Sally
'Snuff that girl'? But killing people is wrong!

Little Becky Two Shoes
Then why does it feel so right?

Look at us here
In a hole, on the lam
With our hearts full of fear -
What a rip! What a sham!
You know, cops will be here
Bustin' heads mighty quick!

Hot Blades Harry
But we'll beat them to the bunch
When we snuff out that chick!

Little Becky Two Shoes
We tried doin' what we should!

Hot Blades Harry
Wasn't glad!

Little Becky Two Shoes
Then we learned that feelin' good

Hot Blades Harry
Mean's doin' bad!

Both
Nuts, they fall close
So they say, to the tree
Looky here, here's an a-
Corn from Cladwell I see
I say, she is the nut
and of course, we're the squirrel!
She is what we saved for winter
So let's snuff that girl!

Hot Blades Harry
Bing!

Tiny Tom
Bing!

Little Beck Two Shoes
Bing Bang!

Soupy Sue
Bing Bang!

Hot Blades Harry
A-Bing Bang Boom!

Robbie the Stockfish
Boom!

Billy Boy Bill
Boom!

Hot Blades Harry
Yeah!

Little Beck Two Shoes
Okay now, snuff!

Billy Boy Bill
Snuff the girl!

Little Becky Two Shoes
Yeah!

Soup Sue and Billy Boy Bill
Snuff the girl!

Tiny Tom and Robbie the Stockfish
Snuff her!

Hot Blades Harry and Little Beck Two Shoes
Oh yeah, now go!

Robbie the Stockfish
Snuff the girl!

Hot Blades Harry and Little Beck Two Shoes
Yeah!

Billy Boy, Robbie, Tiny Tom, Hot Blades Harry
Snuff the girl!

All
Yeah, snuff the girl!
This is the end
Roll the dice, place your bets!
In this mis'rable world
That's as good as it gets!
So now, let's live it up
Eat the oyster and the pearl

And let's get this party jumpin'!
Really get it pumpin'!
Get this party jumpin'
Yeah, let's snuff that -
Snuff that girl!

Run, Freedom, Run

Bobby
Run, freedom, run!
Freedom, run away!
My friends, you have to run
Run-a, run-a, run
Freedom, run away!

That freedom sun
Will shine someday
'Til then you better run
Run-a, run-a, run
Freedom, run away!

Tiny Tom
I'm frightened!

Bobby
As well you should be. Freedom is scary. It's a blast of cool wind that
burns your face to wake you up.

Tiny Tom
Literally?!

Bobby
Yes.

There's a trickle of sweat -

The Poor
There's a trick of sweat -

Bobby
Drippin' in your ear -

The Poor
Drippin' in your ear -

Bobby
But still, you gotta run
Run-a, run-a, run
Freedom, run away!

The Poor
Ah - run, run away!

Bobby
Now, don't you fret
And never fear!
'Til freedom's

Bobby and the Poor
Won, won-a, won-a, won

Bobby
Freedom, run away!

The Poor
Run, freedom, run!

Bobby
There's a great big Cladwell on your tail!

The Poor
Run, freedom, run!

Bobby
And he's put his henchmen on your trail!

The Poor
Run, freedom, run!

Bobby
I'm simply layin' out the fac's for you
Great big Cladwell's makin' tracks for you
Ain't no time to relax for you -

Bobby and the Poor
Run, freedom, run!

Bobby
Run, freedom, run!

The Poor
Run, freedom, run!
Run, freedom, run!

Bobby
Freedom, run away!

The Poor
Freedom, run away!
Freedom, run away!
My friends, you have to run
Run-a, run-a, run
Freedom, run away!
Freedom, run away -
Freedom, run away -
Freedom, run away!
That freedom sun
That freedom sun
Will shine someday!

Bobby
...Three four...

The Poor
'Til then you better
Run, run-a-freedom run
Run-a, run-a way!

Bobby Run, freedom, run! Freedom, run away! My friends you Have to run Run-a, run-a, run Freedom, run away!

The Poor Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Ah!

The Poor
Run, Hallelu!

Bobby
That freedom sun!

The Poor
Freedom sun!

Bobby
Will shine someday!

The Poor
Some sweet day!

Bobby and the Poor
'Til then you better
Run, run-a, run-a, run
Run-a, run-a run!
Hallelujah!

The Poor
Freedom, run!

Bobby
With the wind in your hair
You'll run to freedom's glory!

The Poor
Freedom sun!

Bobby
That freedom sun will shine
All over your freedom story
I said freedom -
I said freedom -
I said freedom, run
Away!

The Poor
Run, freedom, run!
Run, freedom!
Freedom, run away!

Why Did I Listen To That Man?

Penny
Why did I listen to that man?
Why did I listen to
The nature of his plan?
And when he talked
I should have balked
I should have walked
I should have ran!
Why did I listen to that man?

Fipp
Why did I listen to that crook?
A little bribe in cash is all it really took
That's how that craven
Toilet maven
Made me cave in
I'm a schnook!
Why did I listen to that crook?

Bobby
You lied to us, Cladwell! You told us one thing, then you did another!
That's what you did, Cladwell! That's what you did!

Lockstock and Barrel
Now we've finally got you!
Now you're in our claws!
Captured in our city
Of laws

There's no trial or jury
Nothing to discuss
Now the law is speaking
Through us!

You'll get Urinetown!
Off with you to Urinetown!
Away with you to Urinetown!
Now, no more fuss!

Penny
Let go of me! I have to save Hope!

Business Man 2
There's no saving Hope now, Ms. Pennywise.

Business Man 1
There may be no saving you.

Penny
Oh, no?! Then take that! And that! And this! And a few of these!

Hope
Why did I listen to that boy?
He spoke of hopes and dreams
It filled me with such joy
How can I know
He loved me so?
Was it for show?
Was I his toy?
Why did I listen to that boy?

Penny
Why did I listen to that cad?

Hope
Why did I listen to my dad?

Hope and Penny
I went to work for him
He said he was so glad

Hope
Was he sincere?

Penny
Well, now it's clear

Hope
And now I fear

Hope and Penny
That I've been had!
Why did I listen to -

Fipp That crook That crook That crook That crook That crook That crook That crook That crook That crook That crook That crook That crook That crook

Penny That cad That cad That cad That cad That cad That cad That cad That cad That cad That cad That cad That cad

Lockstock and Barrel This is Urinetown! Dead ahead It's Urinetown! You must Go to Urinetown! Urinetown!

Bobby My heart My heart My heart My heart My heart My heart My heart My heart My heart My heart My heart

Hope My dad My dad My dad My dad My dad My dad My dad My dad My dad My dad

Bobby
So what's it like, this 'Urinetown' that I've heard so much about?

Barrel
Perhaps better for us to 'show' you.

Bobby
Wait a minute, you're just going to throw me off this roof and that's
supposed to be Urinetown?! Death is Urinetown?!

Lockstock
That's one interpretation.

Bobby Why did I listen to my heart? I heard its call and made This revolution start So let the throng Take up my song! Make Cladwell see That he is wrong Why did I listen to my heart? Why did I listen to my heart? I heard its call and made This revolution start So let the throng Take up my song! Make Cladwell see That he is wrong

Lockstock and Barrel There's no trial or jury Nothing to discuss Now the law is speaking Through us

Bobby, Hope, Penny, Fipp, Lockstock and Barrel
Why did I/he listen to my/that -
Why did I/he listen to my/that -

Penny
Cad?

Hope
Dad?

Fipp, Lockstock, Barrel
Bad?

Bobby, Hope, Penny, Fipp, Lockstock and Barrel
Why did I/he listen to my/that -

Bobby
Heart!

Lockstock
A shovel and a mop, Mr. Barrel. You know the drill.

Tell Her I Love Her

Little Sally
Tell her I love her
Tell her I'll always be with her
And I will see her in a better place
Where hope is always new

Ours was a short time
Ours was a love that never bloomed
Yet in that love there lives
A brand new hope
It's calling out to you

Its call is soft and gentle
Tame and fine
It's docile and benign

Bobby
A pickle in the brine
What did I say? That isn't what I meant
I've lost my sense of scent
I fear my life is spent

Bobby and Little Sally
No one is innocent

Little Sally
No one.

Soupy Sue
'No one is innocent'? What did he mean by that?

Little Sally
I don't know, he started fading in and out after awhile. It was a miracle he was alive at all, the fall was so horrible.

Tiny Tom
Was he talking about me? How can he say I'm not innocent? Not innocent of what?

Little Sally
Wait! Wait, please. There's more. He said...

Tell all the people
Tell them the time is always now
Tell them to fight for
What they know is right

Bobby
I've lost my sense of sight
And yet I see them
I see them standing hand in hand

Bobby and Little Sally
I see them standing hand in hand
and cheek to cheek and gland to gland
There still is hope, I see it, in this land

Little Sally
If only -

Josephine
Yes?

Bobby and Little Sally
If only - !

All
Yes?!

Little Sally
And then he expired.

We're Not Sorry

Little Sally
With a lust for
Saving water
Man gives daughter
Up for dead

Hot Blades Harry
Play it on your
Stradivari!
He's not sorry
Not a shred!

The Rebels He's not sorry... He's not sorry... He's not sorry... He's not sorry...

Barrel An absolute maze, that's what the sewer system is.

Lockstock
I'm going back down to give it another look.

You stay here to guard the streets.

Josephine
You who fly the
Blimp of evil
Shun upheaval
In the air!

Soupy Sue
Then ask why the
Ride gets jarry -
Now you're sorry
You're up there

The Rebels
Now you're sorry...
Now you're sorry...

Those who made dough
From debasing
Need erasing
Need the knife

Let their blood flow
Like Campari!
We're not sorry -
Hey that's life!

The Rebels Once they liked to Shoot their rifles Just for trifles Hunt us down!

UGC Staff We're not sorry! We're not sorry! We're not sorry! We're not sorry now!

All
Ba-dap! Ba-dap!

The Rebels Now it's we who Play safari -

UGC Staff Sorry! We're not sorry! We're not -

Cladwell and Co.
We're not sorry!

The Rebels
They're not sorry!

Billy Boy Bill
I'm not sorry!

All
No one's sorry
No one's sorry
'Til they get to Urine

We're Not Sorry (reprise)

Cladwell
I'm the bunny
This time 'round

Penny
Remember when our
Nights were starry?

Cladwell
Aren't ya sorry?

Penny
Sure, I'm sorry

Cladwell
I'm not sorry

Both
Just unsound

I See A River

Hope
I see a river flowing for freedom
I see a river just in view
I see a river flowing for freedom
I see a river straight and true

Come to the river flowing for justice
Come to the river rendezvous
Come to the river flowing for justice
All for the people, me and you

Lockstock
Well, as you guessed, Hope took over her father's business, instituting a series of reforms which opened the public bathrooms to all the people, to pee for free whenever they liked, as much as they liked, for as long as they liked, with homever they liked. The UGC was renamed, 'The Bobby Strong Memorial Toilet Authority' and was operated as a public trust for the benefit of the people.

Little Becky Two Shoes
Sisters and brothers fight for the river

Hope
Fathers and mothers

Little Becky Two Shoes
Babies, too!

Hope and Little Becky Two Shoes
All in the family, push toward the river
Shove toward the river, why don't you?

All
Step in the river, wade in the river
Soak in the river through and through
Once in the river, you are the river
Friends on the shorelines, jump in too

Lockstock
Of course, it wasn't long before the water turned silty, brackish and then disappeared altogether. As cruel as Caldwell B. Cladwell was, his measures effectively regulated water consumption, sparing the town the same fate as the phantom Urinetown. Hope chose to ignore the warning signs, however, preferring to bask in the people's love for as long as it lasted.

Little Sally
What kind of musical is this?! The good guys finally take over and then everything starts falling apart.

Lockstock
Like I said, Little Sally. This isn't a happy musical.

Little Sally
But the music's so happy!

Lockstock
Yes, Little Sally. Yes it is.

Josephine
Such a fever. If only I had a cool, tall glass of water, maybe I'd have a fighting chance.

Hope
But don't you see, Mrs. Strong? The glass of water's inside you, it always has been.

Josephine
It has?

Hope
Of course it has. Don't you know what you are?

Josephine
A river?

Hope
That's right. We all are.

You are the river, I am the river
He is the river, she is too

Hope and Josephine
All are the river flowing for freedom
Flowing for justice, let's review

All
We see a river flowing for freedom
We see a river just in view
You see a river flowing for freedom
You see a river straight and true

Little Sally
I don't think too many people are going to come see this musical, Officer Lockstock.

Lockstock
Why do you say that, Little Sally? Don't you think people want to be told that their way of life is unsustainable?

Little Sally
That, and the title's awful.

Lockstock
I suppose you're right, Little Sally. I do suppose you're right.

Little Sally
Can't we do a happy musical next time?

Lockstock
If there is a next time I'm sure we can. Well, that's our story. Hope eventually joined her father in a manner not quite so gentle. As for the people of this town? They did as best they could. But they were prepared for the world they inherited, weaned as they were on the legend born of their founding father's scare tactics. For when the water dried up, they recognized their town for the first time for what it really was. What it was always waiting to be.

All
This is Urinetown!
Always it's been Urinetown!
This place, it's called Urinetown!

Lockstock
Hail Malthus!

All
Hail Malthus!

Lockstock
Thank you. And goodnight.

All
That was our show!